When to Unfriend

Sometimes I’m on Facebook and I realize that I should probably whittle down my friends list a bit. I mean how many of these people do I actually communicate with on anything like a regular basis? How many of them are actually even friends? I don’t “friend” anyone who I don’t know in real life but do I really need to keep track of that dude I met for like 5 minutes this one time in college and we’ve literally never spoken since? I don’t know that guy. And I’m pretty sure that guy doesn’t have any clue who I am.

I feel like the cut-off should be this: If I saw this person in real life, would I go talk to him/her or would I hide and avoid eye contact because I’m pretty sure they’ve forgotten I exist and we haven’t talked in years. If it’s the second thing I feel like they should probably get the axe.

But then I get the weirdest feeling…. If I delete these people, I’m really deleting them. Chances are that unfriending them means I’ll never see these people again, they would be 100% out of my life. I could even forget them completely if, as in most of these cases, I didn’t know them that well in the first place. In my mind they will have completely ceased to exist. I’LL HAVE REMOVED AN ENTIRE PERSON FROM MY BRAIN! What if I’m wrong? I can’t handle that kind of power!  What if we were always meant to be friends but now I messed everything up? What if they find out that I deleted them and feel sad? What if I feel sad but I can’t even remember why? What if they get a really adorable cat and I never get to see pictures of it? THERE ARE JUST SO MANY WAYS THIS CAN GO WRONG!

So in the end I almost always decide to keep them around and just wait until a day comes when I feel like playing God.

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